My Secret: I Have Trouble with My Body Image

My Secret: I Have Trouble with My Body Image

 

Last week I was hit with 2 big fears of mine and one of them was my fear about my body image. I was born with Angioedema, and when I was a teenager, I was underweight (110-118 lbs at 5’8″). I had a boyfriend in high school and throughout most of college (the same guy) and I will never forget something he said to me when I was in my 3rd year of college:

He liked me better “before” my weight gain.

I was feeling like crap because I finally got on medication to help me with my Angioedema, anxiety, and depression. I started gaining weight. I was feeling “fat” and I asked him if he liked my body better before in high school or my now body in college.

His answer stuck with me my entire life.

Since then, I continued to gain weight, even if working out, and from 23-26 years old while in a different relationship with a narcissist, I was at my heaviest (I think it was like 170 lbs).

I tried to commit suicide that year at 26 after I broke up with him.

Not all because of my body image, but what I didn’t know at the time is that my confidence centers around my body weight. And you know what? I’m 37 years old and I JUST realized this last week when I was facing this 1 of 2 fears.

This is WHY I’m scared to grow more in my work as a best-selling author and owner of my brand, Manifest It! I’m scared to be on TV, I’m scared to be on video, I’m scared to do public speaking, and I’m scared because I look around and so many public figures are thin.

And even now, my confidence centers around my body image about fear 2 of my 2 fears:

My relationship with my boyfriend.

I don’t like being overweight. I’m up to 273 lbs now. I hate it. While my figure is an hour-glass figure, I do not like how heavy I have become.

I stopped working out as much about 5 years ago because I wasn’t getting back to my high school weight, you know, the “before” weight.

And while last week I was freaking out and having panic attacks over my 2 fears, I DID bust through them yesterday and I feel a great sense of release.

Sure, I still feel bad about myself and my weight, but at least now I understand WHY I feel bad about my body image. And from here I can make empowering and knowledgeable decisions to get healthier.

Understand This:

I want you to know that you are an amazing person as you ARE right now.

I want you to know that you are beautiful, both inside AND outside as you are.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what a man thinks of your body weight and body image.

I want you to know it doesn’t matter what other WOMEN think of your body weight and body image.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what the public opinion thinks of your body weight and body image.

I want you to know you ARE more than enough right now and you deserve love, both from yourself and from supportive people around you.

Screw THEM

Your life and your success is a CONTINUAL work in progress. Making a certain amount of income, weighing a certain amount in your body, and being liked by a certain amount of people or having a certain amount of followers is not going to give you happiness. No.

I can count so many times men have made negative comments TO ME about my weight.

Your happiness depends on how you treat and love YOURSELF. I want you to put your hand over your heart and repeat this out loud to yourself:

My happiness depends on how I treat and love MYSELF. Always. I love myself and I give myself permission to take manifesting action towards my goals every day. I’m more than enough and I’m worthy of all the happiness I’m receiving.

I’m learning new things now that I understand WHY my confidence centers around my body weight. Understanding the WHY is the first step, educating yourself and taking manifesting action is the second and third step to receiving your desires quickly.

I believe in you and I love you. You’re amazing!

XOXO Jaclyn

I Made This For You: Daily Affirmations

I Made This For You: Daily Affirmations

daily affirmations

Hey, Beautiful Soul!

I made this for you, it took about 8 hours to make it, but I want you to have it!

It’s Your Daily Affirmation

Screenshot your daily affirmation. Forward this message, or tag a friend on Instagram who needs theirs, too. And come back to it tomorrow for another one!

Explore WHY your daily affirmation IS TRUE and comment below on Instagram, or reply to this message and let me know.

Let’s celebrate together! Have a great week!

XOXO Jaclyn

Disclosure: Feeling Vulnerable Through Growth

Disclosure: Feeling Vulnerable Through Growth

Vulnerable

This morning I came across a sponsored (advertisement) post on Instagram from a New York Times best-selling author. I wondered why I was still being “targeted” by their ad campaigns because I’m not their ideal book-reader demographic. They have a massive best-selling book that was published in (I think) 2018. They live in Texas (like me), but I think they are more religious than spiritual. ? Not sure.

Regardless, I don’t follow them on social media, I’ve never bought their book, and I think I watched 2 videos of this person with their spouse in 2018 (which led me to realize I’m not their ideal demographic).

This morning, curiosity killed the cat, as they say…

I opened their Instagram profile and “snooped” through the comments section of their posts. I had no idea they were doing workshops centering around having a good marriage, etc. And I just learned this morning that a couple of months ago their marriage has fallen apart.

This person, who is now a millionaire and a New York Times best-selling author (something I dream of with my own books!), has quite a bit of negative backlash from book-readers and customers stating they feel like this person is a “scam” and “scammer”.

My “alert!” antenna went up and my brain immediately conjured my subconscious fears that have been at play for a few months now.

Facing Public’s Opinions of You and of Your Work

I’m scared. To be honest, I’ve been feeling scared for a few months now. Maybe it’s partly due to COVID-19, not sure. I know it’s due to the expectations I put upon myself to “do better”, 4 business hiccups I’ve encountered this year in 2020, and the fear of negative public response of my work as I keep going and growing.

It’s so easy to want to “shrink” back into my shell, especially because I AM an introvert.

During my ManiFASTing journaling this morning I asked myself to weigh each answer with a percentage, 0% being the lowest of importance and 100% being the highest of importance and explains WHY, to the following questions. Here is what I came up with:

Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel good about my soul’s purpose-work (what gets me out of bed each day that fills me with passion)?

5% yes and 95% no. It’s safe and comfy, overall feeling safe feels boring and stagnant.

Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel better about my self-growth?

0% yes, 100% no. I want to continue growing because I love who I have become so far. It’s not easy 100% of the time, but the growth is what got me where I am today and I feel good about it.

Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel fulfilled as a human being, as a soul?

100% no, 0% yes. I want to feel fulfilled in everything I do and accomplish. I want my legacy when I leave this world to be that I helped others fulfill their own dreams and desires in everything they do and accomplish in their lives, too.

116440

Why am I doing all this, to begin with?…

Is it seriously to “win” the approval of others?

30% yes and 70% no. I’m human, I want to be liked and I want positive feedback just like anyone else. At the end of the day, does it really matter what they think dictates my own happiness and fulfillment? No. It matters what I think about myself and for my own life. Not everyone is going to want “my flavor of ice cream”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not any good at all.

Is it for the money?

15% yes, 85% no. Money is a tool, it is not an outcome to happiness or success.

Is it to explore and find out what I’m capable of in the world?

100% yes, 0% no. I had no idea AT ALL that I could accomplish what I have so far, and if I didn’t explore it and allow for changes in my life, all my blessings and events wouldn’t have happened for me. I’m so grateful!

Is it to help others find out what they are capable of in the world?

90% yes, 10% no. I can’t help people who don’t truly want to allow for changes in their lives. You get positive changes when you allow for positive changes to happen. I cannot force it upon anyone, I’m here to help those who truly want to receive their dreams and desires.

Feel the Fear and Do It, Anyway

I read back to myself what I typed out and I’m reminded of a few quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.

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I encourage you to ask yourself the same questions about your dreams and aspirations for your career, business, and for your life, and find out what YOU decide.

You are the keeper of your own legacy: others may tell you your supposed story, but you get to decide how your story ends.

THE SURPRISING LESSON I LEARNED: DO YOU KNOW THIS?

– XOXO Jaclyn (much love to you)

byGkeDa
The Best-Selling Law of Attraction Books

The Best-Selling Law of Attraction Books

#1 Best-Seller Don't Feel Stuck!

Hey ManiFASTers,

I received a sweet email from a sweet Canadian. YES! My books are available on Amazon.com, Amazon.ca, and Amazon.co.uk .

Basically WHEREVER you live on this beautiful planet, go to your local Amazon’s website and type in “Jaclyn Johnston”.

My books are available EVERYWHERE!

Thank you so much for your email, I hope this helps those of you who are curious about it. Stay safe and healthy, thinking about you and your families.

XOXO Jaclyn

Checking in with You

Checking in with You

Jaclyn Johnston

Hey, Beautiful Soul,

How are you doing? Really? 2020 has been a crazy year so far, reply and let me know how you are doing lately.

Manifest It! is undergoing some big changes over the next 6 months. I want to let you know I’m going to be continuing to answer your Law of Attraction questions through my contact form. It’s the best way to ensure I receive your questions about manifesting money, love, happiness, and your success!

Over the next few months I am working with a professional team to:

Fully redesign my website and its contents for your manifestation tips
Continue editing my 3rd book that I am aiming to publish this fall (COVID-19 delayed this a bit) about how to manifest money quickly and with ease
Releasing an Audible for “Don’t Feel Stuck in Love!” for you to manifest your soulmate and twin flame, basically your ideal relationship, with ease
And continue to answer your Law of Attraction questions via my revamped podcastYouTube channel, and blog. Some questions I answer in a personal email, some I answer via these platforms (either anonymously or with your permission to use your name/business) depending on how many people ask the question
Redesigning my new Instagram platform for those of you who prefer Instagram for new manifestation methods and secrets
1:1 hourly mentoring to get down to the details of what has you feeling stuck and how to shift your beliefs for your success as well.

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These projects are a lot of hard work, but I want to do them so that I can best assist each of you in the smoothest way possible.

I appreciate and love each and every one of you. 2020 has been a very challenging time for all of us, myself included.

Keep going, allow for changes to happen because this is how you grow and evolve into becoming the person who you yearn to be and have everything you crave to have in your life!

Daily steps add up to massive results, and doing all this while being open to changes allows for ALL your dreams and desires to ManiFAST (Manifest Faster). I’m so excited for you and I thank you so much for YOU. Please continue to be safe out there and I’ll talk to you within a few days for sure!

I love you all and you’re doing a great job, truly. Keep going!

XOXO Jaclyn