My Secret: I Have Trouble with My Body Image

My Secret: I Have Trouble with My Body Image

 

Last week I was hit with 2 big fears of mine and one of them was my fear about my body image. I was born with Angioedema, and when I was a teenager, I was underweight (110-118 lbs at 5’8″). I had a boyfriend in high school and throughout most of college (the same guy) and I will never forget something he said to me when I was in my 3rd year of college:

He liked me better “before” my weight gain.

I was feeling like crap because I finally got on medication to help me with my Angioedema, anxiety, and depression. I started gaining weight. I was feeling “fat” and I asked him if he liked my body better before in high school or my now body in college.

His answer stuck with me my entire life.

Since then, I continued to gain weight, even if working out, and from 23-26 years old while in a different relationship with a narcissist, I was at my heaviest (I think it was like 170 lbs).

I tried to commit suicide that year at 26 after I broke up with him.

Not all because of my body image, but what I didn’t know at the time is that my confidence centers around my body weight. And you know what? I’m 37 years old and I JUST realized this last week when I was facing this 1 of 2 fears.

This is WHY I’m scared to grow more in my work as a best-selling author and owner of my brand, Manifest It! I’m scared to be on TV, I’m scared to be on video, I’m scared to do public speaking, and I’m scared because I look around and so many public figures are thin.

And even now, my confidence centers around my body image about fear 2 of my 2 fears:

My relationship with my boyfriend.

I don’t like being overweight. I’m up to 273 lbs now. I hate it. While my figure is an hour-glass figure, I do not like how heavy I have become.

I stopped working out as much about 5 years ago because I wasn’t getting back to my high school weight, you know, the “before” weight.

And while last week I was freaking out and having panic attacks over my 2 fears, I DID bust through them yesterday and I feel a great sense of release.

Sure, I still feel bad about myself and my weight, but at least now I understand WHY I feel bad about my body image. And from here I can make empowering and knowledgeable decisions to get healthier.

Understand This:

I want you to know that you are an amazing person as you ARE right now.

I want you to know that you are beautiful, both inside AND outside as you are.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what a man thinks of your body weight and body image.

I want you to know it doesn’t matter what other WOMEN think of your body weight and body image.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter what the public opinion thinks of your body weight and body image.

I want you to know you ARE more than enough right now and you deserve love, both from yourself and from supportive people around you.

Screw THEM

Your life and your success is a CONTINUAL work in progress. Making a certain amount of income, weighing a certain amount in your body, and being liked by a certain amount of people or having a certain amount of followers is not going to give you happiness. No.

I can count so many times men have made negative comments TO ME about my weight.

Your happiness depends on how you treat and love YOURSELF. I want you to put your hand over your heart and repeat this out loud to yourself:

My happiness depends on how I treat and love MYSELF. Always. I love myself and I give myself permission to take manifesting action towards my goals every day. I’m more than enough and I’m worthy of all the happiness I’m receiving.

I’m learning new things now that I understand WHY my confidence centers around my body weight. Understanding the WHY is the first step, educating yourself and taking manifesting action is the second and third step to receiving your desires quickly.

I believe in you and I love you. You’re amazing!

XOXO Jaclyn

I Made This For You: Daily Affirmations

I Made This For You: Daily Affirmations

daily affirmations

Hey, Beautiful Soul!

I made this for you, it took about 8 hours to make it, but I want you to have it!

It’s Your Daily Affirmation

Screenshot your daily affirmation. Forward this message, or tag a friend on Instagram who needs theirs, too. And come back to it tomorrow for another one!

Explore WHY your daily affirmation IS TRUE and comment below on Instagram, or reply to this message and let me know.

Let’s celebrate together! Have a great week!

XOXO Jaclyn

The Surprising Lesson: Do You Know This?

The Surprising Lesson: Do You Know This?

Pushing Through The Fear

You know how sometimes we have bad bosses at work and we think to ourselves, “I’d never do that” or “I will never do that if/when I become a supervisor?”

I did some digging around online yesterday with regards to my previous message about dealing with negative feedback and feeling vulnerable as you grow. Needless to say, I learned A LOT about multi-level marketing (MLM) and how public figures grow their income and fame this way.

I recently started a new Instagram account, I want it to be a more inclusive “we” account rather than a hierarchal pyramid of me having a lot of followers over time and me not following as many in return (you know, the typical “influencer” triangle pedigree setup).

Obviously, this means my exposure to others on the platform will not be the same as Instagram’s “popularity” algorithm set-up. However, I do believe it’s important to support each other as best as we can through similar interests and messages we want to express to the world.

I’m forging my own way, my own path. I’ve always marched to the beat of a different drum.

I’ve known for many years almost everything in the world is based upon a hierarchal pyramid with regards to operations:

in business
in the education system
in the government system
and even in clubs and organizations

This is not necessarily a bad thing when executed fairly. Human beings can become power-hungry, though, and this is where I don’t support exploitation in order to “make a buck” or become famous.

Yesterday I did my digging around and realized some people, not everyone, climb higher and higher on their ladder to fame and riches because of networking USING the MLM system (the hierarchal triangle). This doesn’t mean this is the case for every famous person or rich person, no. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, when not taking advantage of others.

Pushing Through The Fear (The Takeaway & Lesson I Learned)

While some may rise to fame and riches using exploitations, others do not (me). Hell, I’m the “Norma Rae” when I see others being taken advantage of, it’s innate for me (regardless of the “system”). The New York Times best-selling author couple here in Texas I was referring to in my other message use the MLM set-up in order to “Rise” to where they are at this moment (pun intended). But, it looks like they got power-hungry.

The reason their clients and book-readers are giving them negative feedback now is that over the past 3 years they have not been completely transparent and acting with integrity about their own marriage towards their customers while charging them $1700 per person for 2-day workshops counseling their clients about how to have a great marriage. And after building their entire business model around this very subject, they out-of-the-blue announce they are divorcing. No mentions of a struggling marriage before that moment.

I found this to be a good lesson to learn for me, and for anyone else who owns a business: it’s a good idea to always be transparent, honest, and act with integrity. I had that “I’m not going to do that” moment yesterday, even though they are not my bosses.

Money and fame are not the solutions to loving yourself and having a happy life.

It’s a byproduct. And while this INFJ personality doesn’t like to play games or “beat the system”, it was a good learning experience for me to observe what is going on here and how this couple is reacting to some of the choices they have made. Well, they are ignoring how they “betrayed” and “duped” their customers and book readers (the public’s words, not mine).

Thank gosh I listened to my intuition with them from 2018, for my soul’s compass did not steer me wrong.

I pushed through my fears of negative feedback within my own work yesterday, reminding myself that just because someone may not like vanilla ice cream (me) doesn’t mean that the ice cream doesn’t taste good. “Different strokes for different folks.”

My ways and methods of running Manifest It! may not create multi-million dollar MLM deals or hypnotize the masses for a “quick fix.” I’m going to continue being me, and continue teaching practical and logical ways of using The Law of Attraction for you all who want to know how to do this for your long-term goals and dreams in your life, and for your long-term happiness and success.

I surrender to the Universe and I am open to receiving any and all blessings coming my way. Are you, too, for yourself and for your life? I hope so! I believe in you, never give up. Keep going.

You’ve got this! Have a great week, talk to you soon!

XOXO Jaclyn

You Dont Succeed Unless You Try
Disclosure: Feeling Vulnerable Through Growth

Disclosure: Feeling Vulnerable Through Growth

Vulnerable

This morning I came across a sponsored (advertisement) post on Instagram from a New York Times best-selling author. I wondered why I was still being “targeted” by their ad campaigns because I’m not their ideal book-reader demographic. They have a massive best-selling book that was published in (I think) 2018. They live in Texas (like me), but I think they are more religious than spiritual. ? Not sure.

Regardless, I don’t follow them on social media, I’ve never bought their book, and I think I watched 2 videos of this person with their spouse in 2018 (which led me to realize I’m not their ideal demographic).

This morning, curiosity killed the cat, as they say…

I opened their Instagram profile and “snooped” through the comments section of their posts. I had no idea they were doing workshops centering around having a good marriage, etc. And I just learned this morning that a couple of months ago their marriage has fallen apart.

This person, who is now a millionaire and a New York Times best-selling author (something I dream of with my own books!), has quite a bit of negative backlash from book-readers and customers stating they feel like this person is a “scam” and “scammer”.

My “alert!” antenna went up and my brain immediately conjured my subconscious fears that have been at play for a few months now.

Facing Public’s Opinions of You and of Your Work

I’m scared. To be honest, I’ve been feeling scared for a few months now. Maybe it’s partly due to COVID-19, not sure. I know it’s due to the expectations I put upon myself to “do better”, 4 business hiccups I’ve encountered this year in 2020, and the fear of negative public response of my work as I keep going and growing.

It’s so easy to want to “shrink” back into my shell, especially because I AM an introvert.

During my ManiFASTing journaling this morning I asked myself to weigh each answer with a percentage, 0% being the lowest of importance and 100% being the highest of importance and explains WHY, to the following questions. Here is what I came up with:

Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel good about my soul’s purpose-work (what gets me out of bed each day that fills me with passion)?

5% yes and 95% no. It’s safe and comfy, overall feeling safe feels boring and stagnant.

Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel better about my self-growth?

0% yes, 100% no. I want to continue growing because I love who I have become so far. It’s not easy 100% of the time, but the growth is what got me where I am today and I feel good about it.

Does shrinking back into my “shell” make me feel fulfilled as a human being, as a soul?

100% no, 0% yes. I want to feel fulfilled in everything I do and accomplish. I want my legacy when I leave this world to be that I helped others fulfill their own dreams and desires in everything they do and accomplish in their lives, too.

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Why am I doing all this, to begin with?…

Is it seriously to “win” the approval of others?

30% yes and 70% no. I’m human, I want to be liked and I want positive feedback just like anyone else. At the end of the day, does it really matter what they think dictates my own happiness and fulfillment? No. It matters what I think about myself and for my own life. Not everyone is going to want “my flavor of ice cream”, but that doesn’t mean it’s not any good at all.

Is it for the money?

15% yes, 85% no. Money is a tool, it is not an outcome to happiness or success.

Is it to explore and find out what I’m capable of in the world?

100% yes, 0% no. I had no idea AT ALL that I could accomplish what I have so far, and if I didn’t explore it and allow for changes in my life, all my blessings and events wouldn’t have happened for me. I’m so grateful!

Is it to help others find out what they are capable of in the world?

90% yes, 10% no. I can’t help people who don’t truly want to allow for changes in their lives. You get positive changes when you allow for positive changes to happen. I cannot force it upon anyone, I’m here to help those who truly want to receive their dreams and desires.

Feel the Fear and Do It, Anyway

I read back to myself what I typed out and I’m reminded of a few quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt:

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.

—————-

I encourage you to ask yourself the same questions about your dreams and aspirations for your career, business, and for your life, and find out what YOU decide.

You are the keeper of your own legacy: others may tell you your supposed story, but you get to decide how your story ends.

THE SURPRISING LESSON I LEARNED: DO YOU KNOW THIS?

– XOXO Jaclyn (much love to you)

byGkeDa
A Success Quote

A Success Quote

You Dont Succeed Unless You Try

Define Success

Hey Beautiful Soul,

How has your week been? Please reply and let me know. I have been busy behind the scenes working my arse off (and getting little sleep), but I have been thinking about you and hoping you are in continued good health.

Many companies, small businesses, and even universities are having to hit the “reset” button while at the same time working out strategies to continue helping their employees, clients, and students during the pandemic. While I was hitting my own “reset” button, I started thinking:

How do we define success? Scratch that, how do YOU define success?

I was recently interviewed for one of Arianna Huffington‘s companies, Thrive Global, about my definition of “success” and how one can disrupt the common mass-misconception of it for themselves. I want to share it with you because as I was answering the questions, I truly had you in mind for this.

Whether you are starting on your life’s spiritual journey, embarking upon your new business or career path, changing up your business or career path, or generally wanting to learn how to ManiFAST, Manifest Faster,

Tap the success quote below because it’s time to humor the definition of “success”:

ThriveGlobalQuoteJaclynJohnstonSuccess

Always thinking of you, reply and let me know how you are doing. Have a beautiful week!

XOXO Jaclyn